Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Reviewing Straw Dogs:

This is an old article pending revision.
Also, this is a review of the newer Straw Dogs film.

I unfortunately watched this film at other people's houses. They were expecting Paranormal Activity but that disc was scratched or something. (Isn't technology wonderful?!) They really need to start releasing films on Hard Drives, preferably Solid State Disks, instead of DVD/BluRay/Whatever

And so the movie rental people were like "we are out of paranormal activity; try this instead" and so we all watched.

my explanation, not that you care, of why I would bother with a film that I didn't like.

Right before I wrote this review I learned that this is a remake. (Hey, I can't know Everything!) and the original actually sounds much more interesting than the remake because the remake is set in U.S.A. in Mississippi (but resembles Alabama) with some silly Hollywood stereotype couple with acting that I didn't like, but I am still not sure if they are SUPPOSED to be like that, so it might be the characters that are silly instead of the acting being silly.

And the nice rich Hollywood people go Alamaba ... I mean Mississippi to live in their inherited old McMansion. Awww, how nice! (barf) but if I were them, I would sell the place in an instant...especially if there was trouble brewing in the black cauldron of redneckville. perhaps they were going to renovate it first and THEN sell it to see if it would increase the value of it before they sell it. (I mean, why live in a place with bad cell phone reception?!) They hire a crew to renovate the house because the guy is too wimpy to complete the repairs himself. But these super tough guys are able to do the repairs, and cause issues (because the husband dude is wimpy) Husband Dude's wimpiness also causes marriage problems with Wife Wifely. And then the king of the tough guys tries to flirt with Wife and Wife decides to flirt back. In the version that I watched it was edited out, and I am surprised. The movie gets interesting albeit dull and it would be nice to watch the stupid people cause drama with each other. Perhaps the woman would end up with King Tough Guy and it would be a happy ending...

but this is a horror film and so anyways the locals are very religious, and they also like to hunt (they like to hunt Husband Dude) and AW the poor cat gets hung up in the closet.

and then the Wimpy Husband Dude has them set a bear trap, in their house! which is quite silly. They hang it up, but that is still very silly.

And then the movie gets darker and darker. The guys take turns at raping the woman. I read that there is criticism that she enjoyed it? but if they were together before, she probably did! and so she was having mixed feelings about it, which is why she did not tell her husband. you know...the guy that jumpropes?

they go to a small town event and this girl walks off with this mentally disabled guy. He is apparently too rough with the women. So I am guessing that all the red neck men are all abusive?! Really... Every One of the redneck men in this film are all abusive! And in a sense the wimpy guy is abusive also, by simply jumping rope (in front of his wife too!).

And Spoiler: the mentally disabled guy kills the girl by muffling her. (She does not say "I won't yell, but move your hand from my nose!") and then they run him over after he dumps the body.

Husband and Wife take the man to their place, and all the drunks (including the girl's father) demand his release. They break in and one of them gets oil and hot water thrown at him, another gets shot, another one gets nailed to the house, and the worse one of all. (But probably the best scene to most people) the wimpy guy takes the bear trap and traps King Tough Guy's head in it. He dies of quite a slow death.

Where are the police? They were shot too. (by the drunks)

All the bad guys are killed, the house and barns burn down, and Wimpy Guy has full insurance on his vehicles and buildings and land, and gets to cash in on the destruction.

Now for Straw Dogs 2: Rise Of The Zombie Werewolves, starring King Tough Guy (Alexander Skarsgard), costarring Taylor Lautner.

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