Monday, April 14, 2014

Reviewing Barney & Friends:

This is an old article pending revision.

Barney is just silly and cheaply produced. It is only for entertainment purposes. I actually remember my Kindergarten teacher putting Barney on TV 50% of the time. We were sitting on the floor, the TV was wall mounted towards the ceiling. My neck hurt! And in addition to that, it just means that parents and teachers can just put this on TV just for the SOLE purpose of keeping kids entertained. And if you haven't figured it out what I am also trying to say... it is not that educational.

Here is Barney, a deputy sheriff, I mean, a stone-age neighbor, I mean... a purple dinosaur. He is an adorable little soft plush toy. And then the kids BREAK INTO SCHOOL to play with him, with supervision by a TOY. Their imagination causes him to manifest in to this 7 feet tall dinosaur. Still purple, (exact hue or whatever it's called changes each season) short arms, huge feet, giant mouth that the kids could easily become his lunch (after school snack?) and pretty much a giggling GUY IN A COSTUME. People usually don't respond too good to people that they can't see...the more people hide, covered up, masked, etc. The more fearful they become. Barney also disguises himself with the happiness of a hustler.

And there is so much sugar-coating with pretty much every episode. There are a few "realistic" stories, but otherwise, and especially with the I Love You song, it is similar to a halfway house with it's slap a smile on your face and don't ever talk about your past or other issues or whatever you are really feeling, obliterate any trace of individuality that you have, etc. ...except this is directed at a much younger audience, underestimating the intelligence of preschoolers.

You should NEVER take advice from a purple dinosaur that says "I Love You". It just does not look right. It makes him look weak, and at the same time it makes him look like a pedophile. "with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too" see what I mean?

supporting characters are two COMPLETELY imaginary dinosaurs, B.J., P.J., or whatever... and Baby Bop. They do not appear to originate from toys, just out of thin air.

Perhaps the most redeeming part of the show is when they had shoes on the television for end credits. Each time the credits changed, there was a different variety of shoes. At the same time there were more characters such as a PURPLE female bird, and a squirrel named Scooter McNutty. They also brought in an (possibly imaginary) adult human named Stella. Either that, or she was a space alien from an alternate universe. During this time, they added quite a bit more education. They brought in all these extra characters to make it look like these kids weren't unsupervised.

At the end of pretty much every episode, a kid turns out the lights. This is probably the most useful tip: Save Electricity; Save Money. lol.

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